Billionaires suck

Happy Friday. There are 696 days until the midterm elections. Republicans are still protecting Matt Gaetz, billionaires are about to break America and Elon Leon bought himself a presidency.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But it sings like a goddamn angel.

Note: Hey, Sexy Patriots! Yesterday Sam went on social media and called Morning Joe a “gutless kiss ass” and Joe wrote back whining about civility and so Sam told him “pretend like I’m trump and kiss my ass” and then Joe deleted his posts. It was pretty hilarious. It also led us to sit down and write a rather shocking and comprehensive list of all the different kinds of shit Joe and Mika can eat, but we realized that they’re just too damn pathetic these days to waste time on (even though we laughed for like 10 minutes over aardvark shit).

Look, we understand people are scared and trying to make sense of nonsense. But we can promise you that the way out of this terrifying mess doesn’t run through Trump’s colon. Or Elon’s either. We’re so confused to see a Democrat like Ro Khanna doing everything he can to legitimize Trump and Elon’s efforts to cut social security, Medicare and Medicaid while sharing stages w…