Brain worms for all!

It’s Monday. There are 714 days until the midterm elections. Catching up on some bad health news, Trump sure does love men who assault women and it sure seems like the mass deportation stuff was real.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It will never go away. Unlike JD Vance.

Note: Sexy Patriots! We missed you! Everything keeps getting stupider by the goddamn second, and we need to cuss about it with you. Unfortunately, we’ve got more cuss words than answers for what’s happening to our beautiful dumbshit country. But there is one thing we want to be super fucking clear about — less than half of us voted for this asshead…

That’s right, America. You’re not a total lost cause. No matter what they say. It’s sure as fuck closer than it should be and it’s of pretty cold goddamn comfort since our country’s going right down the crapper. But we’re desperate to believe in the overall goodness of this backwards-ass country, and this feels like a nice little toehold from which to rebuild.

You hear that, Donnie?! No 50 percent for you, fuckface! So yeah everything is horrifying and dumber than hell but at least we don’t have to live in a country where more than half of the people think t…