Creeps
It’s Thursday. There are 711 days until the midterm elections. Gearing up for the first special election, Republicans cover for a sex criminal and the scum who could run the Pentagon.
Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It’s why we can accurately talk about all the stupid shit happening.
Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, we thought about it, we debated it and we decided that NO, we are not going to let Nancy Mace, Marjorie Tayor Greene and Mike Johnson inspect our genitals. In fact, we think it’s super fucking weird that we want to. But then again, these are super fucking weird people we’re talking about. Weird and mean.
As Republicans continue to wage war on decency and Rep. Sarah McBride, we have gotten steadily more furious watching some sick, twisted shitheads attack a good woman who just wants to help her constituents. Especially when they are, at this very minute, PROTECTING A CREDIBLY ACCUSED CHILD RAPIST SO HE CAN BE THE ATTORNEY GODDAMN GENERAL!!! Sorry to yell, but this shit has got our blood boiling. McBride has taken the high road, refusing to engage with the bigots coming after her. And that means she left the low road for us, which we really appreciate.
So we figured since House Republicans are so obsessed with genitals that we might drop our pants and let those deranged freaks have a look. But then we remembered that’s probably a sex crime, and we don’t want to be Attorney General. So we landed on a compromise. We’re still gonna drop our pants, but with our backs turned to Mace, Greene and Johnson. They won’t be able to see our junk, but it will sure make it easier for them to kiss our asses and eat shit. Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: Matt Gaetz is such a prolific sleaze that they had to make a goddamn chart to keep track of it all…
Note three: The International Criminal Court has issued an arrest warrant for Netanyahu and some of his cabinet members. This comes after several Democratic Senators voted yesterday against sending more weapons to Israel. More: Haaretz
Note four: Congratulations to Allison Riggs on winning her state Supreme Court seat in North Carolina. It’s crazy how close this thing was. Every vote matters, y’all. More: Slate
Note five: Want to hear something really fucked up? Trump has nominated so many sex criminals that we couldn’t fit them all in the news section. Everyone should read this story about RFK’s former babysitter. More: USA Today
Note six: This, um, seems like a pretty big goddamn red flag…
Note seven: We were gonna save this for the Happy Ending note, but we got excited so here it is — more bad shit is happening to Rudy Giuliani who just had to hire a new lawyer. More: The Hill
Note eight: Ken Martin sure seems like he’d make a great DNC chairman. More: HuffPost
Note nine: A Florida man was busted for wanting to bomb the New York Stock Exchange. We’re all anxiously waiting to hear which cabinet spot he’ll get. More: AP News
Note 10: Every. Single. Word.
Note 11: Elon Leon and Vivek are about to hurt a whole lot of people. Mostly because they’re rich assholes who have no idea what they’re doing and don’t give a shit how many Americans’ lives they fuck up. More: The Verge
Note 12: It’s pretty damn amazing how many people Trump has around him who used to compare him to Hitler. First it was Jellyroll Douchenozzle (JD) Vance, and now it’s RFK Jr. More: CNN
Note 13: We are big fans of Rep. Maxwell Frost, who this week became the first Gen Z member of House leadership.
Note 14: You know what you really don’t want in an Education Secretary? For them to be sued in a child sex abuse case. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with these scumbags? More: HuffPost
Note 15: Nikki Haley is big mad about Tulsi Gabbard being in charge of our nation’s secrets. Maybe Nikki’s dumb ass shouldn’t have endorsed the sonofabitch who nominated Tulsi. More: The Hill
Note 16: There are a lot of people in this country who are ready to fight.
Note 17: Congratulations to former Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards on being awarded the Medal of Freedom by President Biden. She sure earned it. More: ABC
Note 18: Remember when our dumbshit political media believed the lie that Trump had nothing to do with Project 2025? Well he just appointed the author of it to be director of the Office of Management and Budget. More: CBS
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we give you Steven Van Zandt rocking out for Ukraine…
Note 20: And on that kickass note, let’s go do some news! We sure love you. All of you. It’s easy to do. Just make sure you’re loving yourself too. Love y’all!
On (to) Wisconsin
Ok, so we gotta get our asses off the mat and go back to work. We’ve got a special election for the Wisconsin state Supreme Court is in 131 days. The Democratic Party of Wisconsin has endorsed Judge Susan Crawford, so we have too. Remember that we won the U.S. Senate seat in the Badger State even though we lost the top of the ticket, so we’re still fighting there. We know everyone is tired, but this is where we start to punch back. Let’s go!!!
More: WIS Politics
Creeps
Yesterday the House Ethics Committee met to discuss the case of sex criminal Matt Gaetz, and they refused to release the report on him, claiming it’s not finished. But Rep. Susan Wild, who is on the committee, pushed back at suggestions that there was any agreement not to release it. The meeting came as Gaetz was back on Capitol Hill meeting with Senators to try and win support for his confirmation. If anyone has that report and wants to leak it, feel free to send it to us. We won’t even add any cuss words.
More: ABC
Jesus, Pete
The police report from Pete Hegseth’s alleged rape case came out yesterday, and it is deeply fucking upsetting. The woman didn’t call the police. A nurse at the hospital did when she went in for a rape kit. She thinks she might have been drugged, and Hegseth physically stopped her from leaving his hotel room. And this is the sick motherfucker that Trump wants leading the Pentagon.
More: NBC
Today’s clips
Within hours of taking office as president, Donald Trump plans to roll out a flurry of executive actions aligned with his campaign promises, imposing more socially conservative health care policies on the U.S. military and setting in motion the large-scale deportation of people living in the country illegally. More: NBC
Ukraine’s military accused Russia of launching an intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM) at the eastern Ukrainian city of Dnipro on Thursday, though a Western official has told reporters otherwise, and the Kremlin declined to comment. More: CNN
As to ElongatedTusk's plans for executive orders: there IS this thing called the Administrative Procedures Act. I don't think executive orders can dismantle it. Actually, it would raise an interesting immunity question: is it within the President's core powers to overturn statutes absent a national emergency declaration (or possibly even WITH one). What "emergency" will trump use to issue such an order? The same would apply to any overuse of emergency powers to get things done. At some point the Extremes are going to have to have a closer definition of what "emergencies" qualify for special presidential powers. The sooner we can get that issue before them, the better. I'm not sure that a majority would go quite so far as to say the president is the sole decider of when something is enough of an emergency. To give him blanket power would be to let him, for example, declare an emergency and boot justices he doesn't like from the court.
I've wondered whether Biden could simply blanket pardon undocumented folks for any "crime" in overstaying a visa? In fact, if one enters the country legally, you are not a "criminal" under our statutes; such people have committed a civil offence. And, of course, for trump to argue that a pardon doesn't apply to civil offenses (if it doesn't) he'd have to admit that absent a criminal act while here, these immigrants are in fact not criminals.
You guys are awesome. Love your attitude and all the info you share. Keep it up!