Don dumps on Detroit
Happy Friday! There are 25 days until Election Day. Trump dumps on Detroit, Dark Brandon calls out Trump and Elon Leon makes the twitter files an actual thing.
Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. Just be grateful it doesn’t use scratch-and-sniff.
Note: Ya know, Sexy Patriots, we try to keep things classy around here. Sure, we use the occasional bad word, but we are serious about public policy, the preservation of democracy and the important discussion this nation is having right now. So let’s talk about Trump crapping himself in public…
Ewwwwwwwww!!!!!! He totally pooped himself!!! It’s not super loud, thank goodness, but it is unmistakable. That dude had an audible noise escape from his buttular region, and it was either a fart or a shart. And given how gross that stanky sonofabitch is, we’re going with shart. That makes this the October Shit-prize that we’ve been hearing about. Folks, how can he keep America safe when he can’t even keep his underwear safe? We think we figured out where he should build a wall. Now we mean two things when we say lock his ass up.
And because it’s Trump, the shart and subsequent skimark weren’t even the most offensive parts. The shit that comes out of his mouth is way worse. The shart was actually the smartest thing he said all damn day. And that man claims to hate wind energy. Bullshit. Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: Just hours after Trump pooted, Barack Obama brought the house down by telling an audience member he almost made a joke about Trump wearing diapers. We’re guessing it made Trump so mad he ruined another pair of pants.
Note three: Whoopi Goldberg ate Trump’s lunch yesterday. And then she had seconds. More: HuffPost
Note four: Republicans are trying to stop our deployed military members from voting. We’re not making this up. But what else should we expect from the suckers-and-losers guy? More: NBC
Note five: If it feels like the liberal media is pro-Trump, there’s a pretty good reason for that — they are…
Note six: Congratulations to Maryland U.S. Senate candidate Angela Alsobrooks, who took Republican Larry Hogan to school in last night’s debate. Hogan wants us to believe he’s not a Trump supporter. Sure, bro. More: NBC
Note seven: Joe Biden spoke to Ana Paulina Luna-tic yesterday. The Trumpy congresswoman, who legit had a nazi soldier grandpa, changed her tune after her district got slammed by Milton. And even though she kept lying about FEMA, she did call for MAGA Mike Johnson to call Congress back. Just like a right-winger — doesn’t give two shits about a problem until it’s happening to them. More: Florida Politics
Note eight: Trump keeps saying networks should lose their licenses. And yet the press keep acting like he’s just a normal candidate. More: HuffPost
Note nine: Congratulations to Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss. The two brave Georgia election workers settled their lawsuit against the Gateway Pundit. More: The Guardian
Note 10: President Obama hit the trail for VP Harris yesterday, and he had a message for Black men, which could apply to all men, that really got our attention. Obama’s whole speech was pretty darn powerful and worth a watch.
Note 11: VP Harris accepted an invitation to do a CNN town hall on Oct. 23. Trump crapped himself — again — at the thought. More: Politico
Note 12: Bill Clinton is hitting the trail for VP Harris, campaigning in Georgia and eastern North Carolina. All hands on deck, folks. Let’s go! More: CNN
Note 13: If you’ve watched any football in the last few weeks, you might have noticed Republicans have gone all-in on their anti-trans campaign. It’s gross and mean, and that’s exactly what we expect from the GOP. More: HuffPost
Note 14: The DNC is going after Jill Stein, which makes sense really because we go after Putin too. If you know anyone in the 1 percent of people who are supporting her, you need new friends. More: Yahoo
Note 15: Check out VP Harris on the cover of Vogue! Wow!
Note 16: They’re sending Coach Walz out to win some dude voters. He’s gonna do some football and some pheasant hunting. Sounds like a pretty fun weekend. More: The Hill
Note 17: Walz is also using some profanity to attack Trump and Vance over their Detroit bashing, saying today that the only thing those guys “know how to manufacture is bullshit.” Needless to say, we love it. More: The Hill
Note 18: This ain’t politics related, but the WNBA finals are underway and Game One was nuts! If you like basketball and need a break from the crazy, we highly recommend watching the Lynx take on the Liberty. More: ESPN
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we take you to VP Harris’ Univision town hall from last night, where she absolutely crushed it. And while this wasn’t really a happy moment, it was beautiful to see the VP showing real heart and love and compassion to a woman who just lost her mom. This is our candidate.
Note 20: And on that emotional note that totally didn’t make us cry, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all had a great week. We’ll be back tomorrow for a weekend update. In the meantime, either stay the hell away from Trump or hold your nose! Love y’all!
Don dumps on Detroit
If Detroit had given this nation nothing more than Motown, then that would be enough to sanctify it as a great American city. But it actually gave us a shitload more than that which is why it’s nothing short of insane that Trump went there yesterday and crapped all over it. Yeah, while speaking to the Detroit Economic Club, Trump said, “our whole country will end up being like Detroit if she’s your president.” Oops. We’re not politicians, but we think it’s probably a bad idea to insult Detroit like that. Michigan is one of those states that’s kinda important. Democratic politicians all over the state seized on the remark, but our favorite response came from Sen. McMorrow who responded “fuck this guy.” Yes!
More: AP News
Git his ass
Joe “Dark Brandon” Biden is doing fucking around. In recent days, he has been extraordinarily blunt in calling out Trump’s lies about the federal hurricane response, and on Thursday he straight up told Trump to “get a life.” Hahahahahahahaha!!! We love Dark Brandon unleashed. Biden blasted Trump’s “bizarre” lies and called him “un-American” for trying to make a crisis worse in the name of politics. It wasn’t that long ago that Trump’s lies would have been a massive scandal. But that was when we had standards.
More: HuffPost
Leaping Leon
It wasn’t that long ago that the New York Times was telling us that it wasn’t “so simple” to accuse Elon Leon Musk of being a right-winger. But today they’re reporting that Leon Elon is all-in with Trump, suppressing the Jiggly Dognipples (JD) Vance dossier at the request of the Trump campaign, moving to Pennsylvania to campaign, lining up other billionaire assholes and spending as much as $180 million on a Trump super PAC. This apartheid-loving motherfucker thinks he can buy our country. Who wants to tell him?
More: NY Times
Today’s clips
No movie on the fall calendar has stoked as much pre-release controversy as “The Apprentice,” an R-rated dramatization of the early years of Donald Trump that hits theaters on Friday, 25 days before the presidential election. More: NBC
Rescue teams plucked Florida residents from the flotsam of Hurricane Milton on Thursday after the storm smashed through coastal communities where it tore homes into pieces, filled streets with mud and spawned a barrage of deadly tornadoes. At least eight people were dead. More: HuffPost
Democrats in Senate battleground races are running ahead of Harris’ margin in the presidential race, a sign of how the party’s standard-bearers have been able to capitalize on sometimes weak GOP opponents and separate themselves from the national Democratic brand. If they succeed, they could prove a potential bulwark against a Republican Senate majority under a second Trump presidency. More: HuffPost
I live in a divided house. My husband is a Republican bc his family is. He’s not intellectually minded and gets all his opinions from his old golf cronies. I’m a political scientist and emerged in politics and news. We couldn’t be more different. We had ‘the talk’ yesterday bc our ballots arrived in the mail. He said he was voting for the Felon and I tried to remain calm while explaining why that would be a huge mistake. He agreed not to vote for the Felon but voting for Harris was a step too far for him. He’s also known to lie to end the conversation when it gets uncomfortable. Bc he’s almost 80 I don’t believe it would be right to abandon him but goddamnit! The stupidity overwhelms me and it’s miserable. That’s how important this is to me. I wonder how many marriages have been unable to survive due to our current and dire political?
(My comment this morning on Jeff Tiedrich’s Substack, copied and pasted bc it applies here as well).