Gaetz out. Bondi in.

Happy(?) Friday! There are 710 days until the general election. Another corrupt AG pick, Marge in charge and a word about that vote total.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But it finally stopped chewing tobacco.

Note: We ain’t done yet, Sexy Patriots! It’s been damn tempting these last several days to wonder if it’s all over and the good parts of America are just a fond memory. Yesterday we found out that’s bullshit. Ain’t nuthin’ over until we say it is. We can still fight. We can still win. And we can still bring a scumbag down.

Just ask Matt Gaetz. Or don’t. You really don’t want to get near that dude unless you just like the smell of Axe body spray and failure.

Gaetz’s withdrawal wasn’t just important for the rule of law or our sense of national decency. It was important because we needed to know we could still throw and land punches against an aspiring fascist. And we just took down one of his rapists. Tragically, there are still others. So get some rest this weekend, SPs. We’re gonna join you for a couple days next week and then chill with the fam for some Turkey Day goodness. And then we’re gonna roll up our sleeves, turn the cuss-o-meter up to 11 and we’re gonna keep fighting. Because fuck Trump, fuck Matt Gaetz and fuck the inevitable. We still have a say here. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Congratulations to one of the sleaziest pieces of shit to ever enter the world of politics. And that is REALLY saying something…

Note three: Oh and please don’t forget that Gaetz only withdrew after learning that CNN was about to report that there was a second teenager. Sick fuck. More: HuffPost

Note four: Now when does sleazy piece of shit Pete Hegseth withdraw? More: AP News

Note five: There are people on TikTok who think Trump is going to send another round of stimulus checks. We assume these people fall for A LOT of email scams. More: CBS

Note six: Y’all know we’re not the biggest fans of the the mainstream media, but what the hell is going on here? Is there a new Godfather?

Note seven: Sen. Bobby Casey conceded yesterday. It sucks. He’s a good dude. More: NBC

Note eight: Happy birthday to trailblazer and all-around badass Billie Jean King!

Note nine: We are so here for Nancy Mace’s former aide absolutely eviscerating her. Btw, we found out that Nancy doesn’t actually go to the bathroom. Yeah, it turns out she had her butthole sewed up a few years ago and she hasn’t pooped in years. That explains her personality and why she’s so full of shit. More: HuffPost

Note 10: Can someone please tell us how the hell Brazil figured this shit out and we didn’t? Do they just not have a Fox News?

Note 11: NBC’s Political Desk is reporting that Trump’s cabinet picks “are off to a rocky start.” Oh do you think so? In other news, the NBC Political Desk just announced the hiring of Captain fucking Obvious. More: NBC

Note 12: Mitch McConnell is no longer the Republican leader in the Senate. Now he’s just a regular demon. More: The Hill

Note 13: Is anyone else excited as hell for Wicked and Gladiator II? It feels like it’s been forever since some new movies came out.

Note 14: Want to see Nancy Mace get even more unhinged? Yeah, we don’t either, but this story is worth reading. And thank you to this journalist for doing journalism. More: HuffPost

Note 15: The people whining about a woke military should listen to this…

Note 16: Thank you to Margaret Sullivan for this column about Mace’s vicious bullying of Sarah McBride. We don’t want to speak for women, but we wouldn’t be caught dead pissing anywhere near Mace. More: The Guardian

Note 17: Sam is too much of a Lakers fan or us to congratulate the Boston Celtics on going to the White House yesterday, but they did. More: Boston

Note 18: Texas AG Ken Paxton, whose mother is a dim-witted goat and whose father is actually Satan, is looking into suing companies that don’t want to advertise with Elon Leon Musk. The free speech people are at it again. More: Tech Crunch

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we just want to take a second to say we love you. Everything is fucked up and scary, but you are definitely not alone. Millions of people feel the same way you do. There’s comfort in that. But there’s also power in that. If we can take down Gaetz, then we ain’t done yet. Hope is alive. Be nice to yourself this weekend. Love y’all very much.

Note 20: And just for the hell of it, here’s the Peanuts jamming to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing…

Pam?!

So Gaetz is out and the next scumbag is in. Her name is Pam Bondi and she’s crooked as all hell. Bondi was the one who was going to investigate Trump University until Trump sent her a check for $25,000. She then became one of his top enablers. She even defended him in his first impeachment trial. Trump is turning the federal government into Florida, and we don’t like it.

More: The Guardian

LOL!

So we finally got some good news about Elon Leon and Vivek Ramaswamy’s plans to gut the government — they’re putting Marjorie Taylor Greene in charge of the congressional aspect of it. LOL. Phew. Thank goodness. Marge, who is a few toes shy of a full shoe, was appointed to lead a new DOGE subcommittee by Oversight Chairman James Comer, who did such a great job impeaching Biden. We’ve lost a lot, y’all. But our enemies are still fucking morons.

More: CNBC

About that vote total

In the last couple of weeks, we’ve seen a lot of Democrats and pundits suggesting we need to give up all of our values and basically start over because the brand of our party is such a lost cause. We’re calling bullshit. As the dust settles and the vote totals become clear, it’s very obvious that Kamala Harris was a damn popular candidate who got the third highest vote total in American history. She got more than anyone ever other than Trump this year and Biden in 2020. That means about 75 million people liked what she was doing and what she stood for. Let’s build on this and stop throwing people under the bus.

Today’s clips

President-elect Donald Trump and his allies disavowed the conservative Project 2025 during the election, seeing the conservative transition plan and policy blueprint as a liability after Democrats used it to attack his campaign. Some close to Trump even suggested those tied to the effort would be shut out of a potential administration. More: NBC

The man President-elect Donald Trump would go on to tap as his “border czar” spent the last several years making appearances on some of the most extreme right-wing media outlets in the country — including a program hosted by an Adolf Hitler-admiring QAnon conspiracist — and promising to implement a brutal regime of mass deportations if Trump returns to the White House. More: HuffPost