Kamala Harris rocks Texas

Today’s Big Stuff. October 26, 2024.

It’s Saturday. There are 10 days until Election Day. Democracy dies at the Washington Post, Trump’s nazi-ish weekend and the VP rocks Texas. 

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But at least it ain’t too chickenshit to stand up for democracy. 

Note: Holy freaking crapballs, Sexy Patriots. This shit is nuts! We don’t really know how to process these emotions so we just picked joyous and delirious and we’re going with it. It makes us that asshole having the time of his life as the plane goes through turbulence and everyone else is freaking out and confessing their sins. It’s how we can make inappropriate jokes and laugh ourselves stupid when MAGA Mike Johnson and Mitch McConnell try to tell us to quit calling their orange daddy a fascist… More: Twitter

LOLOL!!!! What?! First of all, we will call that gross motherfucker whatever we want to. This is still America. For at least another couple weeks. They can’t silence us. We’re not the Washington Post. If he doesn’t want to be called a fascist, then he’s free to stop acting like one any fucking second he chooses. And second, we were so tickled by this horseshit from Mitch and Mike that we sat down and wrote a song about it. Wanna hear it? Here it goes…

Fascist, fascist, fascist

Trump is a fucking fascist

Fascist, fascist, fascist

Trump is a fucking fascist

Fascist, fascist fascist

Mitch and Mike please kiss our asses

Catchy, right? We apologize if it’s stuck in your head all day. Now who can we get to perform it? Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Good news in Virginia where a federal judge ordered 1,600 people restored to the voter rolls after Gov. Glen Youngkin broke the law by removing them at the last minute. We’re sure they’ll remember that when they go vote. More: Associated Press

Note three: If you’ve seen “the Black insurrectionist” on twitter, then what you’ve actually seen is a white 51-year-old MAGA dude who has a history of fraud and drug abuse and owes the state of New York about $7 million in back taxes. Trump, Vance and many, many other people have disseminated this asshole’s misinformation. What a damn mess. More: Associated Press

Note four: Damn damn damn. Sam is an old Deadhead who saw the band back when Jerry was alive. So we were damn sorry to see that Phil Lesh died. RIP. More: Associated Press

Note five: We got Leo DiCaprio! Now we really wish Rose had made room for him on that door. More: Twitter

Note six: As fucking disgusted as we are with the Washington Post right now, we were happy to see them break the news this morning that Elon Leon Musk was an undocumented immigrant when he started working in the U.S. So do we round him up now? Is that how this works? More: Washington Post

Note seven: Trump showed up three hours late to his rally in Michigan last night, leaving people in the cold until they left. He treats his own supporters like shit. And they seem to love it. More: Daily Mail

Note eight: Holy shit! Jellospine Deeznuts (JD) Vance gave a shout out to “Black Nazi” Mark Robinson while in North Carolina yesterday. We suppose it makes sense that a guy who has sex with couches would be cool with the golden showers guy having an affair with his wife’s sister. More: Twitter\

Note nine: As part of his rambling idiotic three hours on Rogan, Trump again said that he believes Americans are a bigger enemy than North Korea. He also said he wants to be a “whale psychiatrist.” More: NO LINK ON PURPOSE

Note 10: Y’all knew we were gonna show you this… More: CSPAN on Twitter

RIP
The election hasn’t happened yet, but we’re already seeing some institutions fall from the weight of cowardice. The Washington Post, the paper that brought down Nixon and inspired the world of journalism, is no more. In its place is a sad husk of newspaper that is owned by a gutless chickenshit billionaire. Thousands of people canceled their subscriptions to the once great paper yesterday after owner Jeff Bezos stopped the paper from endorsing Kamala Harris. For years we have seen an attempt to corrupt the free press. This was its end goal. This was a tragic loss for American democracy. So yeah, now it’s just us and a few other folks. Fuck. More: Semafor

Here we go again
In 1939, a bunch of really shitty Americans sided with the Nazis. They even had a rally in New York City at Madison Square Garden. Now their grandkids are doing the same evil shit. On Sunday, Trump is holding a rally at the Garden, and we don’t think that’s a coincidence. Mostly because other Nazi-type assholes like Stephen Miller, Tucker Carlson and Elon Leon Musk are speaking too. Sounds like a pretty awful way to spend a Sunday or the next four years of our lives. More: The Guardian

Two Queens
As you saw from the clip, Beyonce absolutely slayed with her remarks at VP Harris’ rally in Texas last night. So did Willie Nelson, who sang “Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys.” But the person who stole the show was Harris, who reminded Americans of what is at stake in this election, pointing to towns in Texas that have called for abortion travel bans and sharing horror stories of women who have lost their freedom and almost their lives. Oh and 30,000 people showed up to hear it and about 7 million people streamed it online. More: NBC News 

Today’s clips
A panel of three Donald Trump-appointed judges said Friday that Mississippi was violating federal law by counting mail ballots that arrive after Election Day, but stopped short of blocking the policy before the election, in a ruling that could nevertheless impact voting-related lawsuits this fall. More: CNN

A Maryland Republican raised the prospect of awarding North Carolina’s 16 Electoral College votes to GOP candidate Donald Trump even before the Nov. 5 presidential election, citing storm damage in the western portion of the state and purported certainty over how voters would have cast their ballots. More: Huff Post

Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, the famed journalists whose reporting on the Watergate scandal for The Washington Post led to Richard Nixon’s resignation from the White House, questioned their former publication’s “surprising and disappointing” decision to not endorse a candidate in the 2024 presidential election. More: Huff Post

With the bases loaded, two outs and his Los Angeles Dodgers trailing by a run in the 10th inning of one of the most highly anticipated World Series in recent memory, Freeman turned on an inside fastball from Nestor Cortes and watched it fly, sending the Dodgers to a stirring 6-3 victory over the New York Yankees in Game 1. More: ESPN