Make Segregation Great Again

It’s Wednesday. There are 650 days until the midterm elections. A Trump jailbreak, Pete Hegseth is a serious problem and America is bringing back segregation.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But only because it’s written and published in a really fucked up country.

Note: Well goddamn, Sexy Patriots. We don’t know about y’all, but the shit-covered reality that is Trump as president has all come rushing back these last couple days. We thought we remembered how cruel and chaotic and plain fucking stupid it all was, but man there are just some things we forgot. And one of those things we forgot is how Trump creates heroes. And we’re sure as hell not talking about the worm dicks who smeared their shit on the Capitol. We’re talking about this…

A-fucking-men. Thank you and our deepest apologies to the Rev. Mariann Budde for reminding us what courage is and having the guts to do what the billionaire buttlicks, the Republican Party, too many Democrats and most of the media either can’t or won’t. The apologies are for all the cussing. Sorry, Rev. It’s how dog made us.

See the magic of Trump is that he reveals who people really are. He has allowed the Elons and the Zucks and even people in our own lives to show us what shit-eating extremist fuckheads they really are. And that sucks for all of us. But he also creates heroes by being the kind of evil scum who should be stood up to. So when someone has the courage to do that — and not get on their knees and eat his doodie like all them big tough rich guys — we get to see what real courage and heroism look like. It reminds us that we’re still in this fight because others are still in this fight, and we have to have their backs.

So yeah, on Day Two, a badass bishop reminded us we can still tell this dumb sonofabitch where he can go fuck himself. And even if she didn’t quite put it that way, it was a message we all needed to hear. Y’all have a blessed day. More: AP News

Note two: Oh and it really got under that gross orange skin. Late last night, orange asshead got very mad about the Bishop calling him out so he went to Truth Social and inspired a bunch of death threats against a priest. What a fucking baby. More: AP News

Note three: Trump’s inauguration ratings were total shit. It’s almost like his widespread popularity is completely fucking overblown. More: Variety

Note four: Boy, there’s really nothing like a snowy New Orleans to make you appreciate having a climate change-denying dumbshit for a president. More: Yahoo

Note five: John Fetterman insists he’s not switching parties… More: The Hill

Note six: Yeah, instead he’s just gonna keep voting for Trump shit and doing dumb crap like this…

Note seven: The Trump administration has taken the leash off ICE to let them go into churches and schools. So here comes the cruelty. More: NPR

Note eight: Netflix is raising their prices again. Thanks, Trump. More: Variety

Note nine: Republicans are back to mumbling and staring at their feet when asked about he horrible fucked up shit Trump does. We’re sure the Capitol Hill press corps will get tougher any day now. More: CNN

Note 10: Trump canceled John Bolton’s Secret Service protection despite threats toward Bolton from Iran. Of course we remember Bolton as the chickenshit who refused to testify during the first impeachment so this gets a big ol’ yawn from us. We got decent people to worry about. More: CNN

Note 11: This is it. Remind him and his party and the people who voted for him exactly what these terrorist assholes did. Remind them every goddamn day.

Note 12: New York City Mayor Eric Adams, fresh off kissing some orange ass down at Mar-a-Lago, went on Tucker Carlon’s show. So yeah, he’s gonna get a pardon and probably a slot at CPAC. What an asshole. More: New Republic

Note 13: This is good news and we should have put it up higher in the notes, but a whole bunch of states are suing Trump over that attack on the Constitution he calls a ban on birthright citizenship. The fight is there. You gotta look, but it’s there. More: CNN

Note 14: So look, Trump did something with the Gulf of Mexico but we think that’s too fucking stupid to care about for one second or to bother looking up. So we’re letting you down here and you’ll have to look it up yourself, but it feels like a win for our sanity and dignity. More: NOPE

Note 15: Yesterday in the news section we shared that Biden had pardoned Leonard Peltier. What we failed to mention is that Huffington Post reporter Jennifer Bendery and her tireless reporting on Peltier are a big damn reason why he is headed home. There are still good journalists out there, and we need to give them their flowers when they do good work. Thanks, Jen. More: HuffPost

Note 16: We need more Dougs and fewer whoever the fuck this asshole is…

Note 17: It turns out that one of the reasons Elon Leon pushed out Vivek from that DOGE bullshit is that Elon Leon is no longer interested in cutting spending and is now gonna be using classified information to enrich himself further. Seems pretty fucked up and illegal to us. More: Washington Post (Paywall and corrupt newspaper warning)

Note 18: Admiral Linda Fagan was the first woman to lead one of the branches of the Armed Forces. And a draft-dodging dipshit just fired her. More: HuffPost

Note 19: We don’t normally give a shit about the royal family, but when Rupert Murdoch’s scumbags are forced to apologize, we think it qualifies for a Happy Ending. Yeah, Prince Harry is getting his apology from the scummy British media. The real problem is that a lot of those assholes are now the scummy American media. More: HuffPost

Note 20: And on that vindicated note, let’s go do some news! We’re feeling hopeful today, SPs. Watching Bishop Budde piss that dumb motherfucker off has given us new life! Now let’s all find ways to piss him off! Love y’all!

Jailbreak!

So Trump is flooding the streets with criminals, and we’re not talking about his orange ass taking a walk. You already know that Trump pardoned hundreds of violent criminals who took part in the attack on our country on Jan. 6, 2021. But now Trump has pardoned Silk Road creator and drug dealer Ross Ulbricht. If we had to guess, this will somehow involve Trump making more money off shady crypto deals. Regardless, it’s not usually great politics to let a bunch of dangerous criminals go so maybe Democrats should be screaming bloody fucking murder.

More: The Guardian

Jesus Pete

So it ain’t exactly breaking news that Pete Hegseth is a disgusting mess of a human being who shouldn’t even be allowed to take the Pentagon tour, let alone lead the place, but his story got even worse yesterday. The sister of Hegseth’s second ex-wife said that he made her sister feel unsafe and regularly drank at family functions until passing out. And the Wall Street Journal reported that Hegseth passed out at a strip club in his uniform and had to be dragged out. Senate Majority Leader John Thune is trying to push a vote on Hegseth’s confirmation before the end of this week, and he appears to have the votes. So add that to the suck pile.

More: The Hill

Make Segregation Great Again

Remember when we all said Trump is a racist and the mainstream media pushed back? Well that fucker has put every single DEI employee in the federal government on leave and he’s going to fire them. Oh and he also just rescinded a Lyndon Johnson executive order that prohibited segregation for federal contractors. We’re not even kidding. The real attack on DEI was that Trump and his scum don’t believe women or Black people should have important jobs, so now they’re going to get rid of them. That’s why we said that fucker is a racist. Because he is!

More: Axios, CNN

Today’s clips

The CIA has carried out an executive order signed by Trump to revoke security clearances for about 50 former intelligence officials and senior government officials who had signed a letter about Russia’s possible role in spreading allegations against Hunter Biden, an agency spokesman told NBC News. More: NBC

The Justice Department is directing its federal prosecutors to investigate any state or local officials who stand in the way of beefed-up enforcement of immigration laws under the Trump administration, according to a memo to the entire workforce obtained by The Associated Press on Wednesday. More: AP News

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) reiterated Tuesday night a core tenet of the country amid criticism of a gesture made by billionaire Elon Musk during President Donald Trump’s inauguration celebrations: “We hate Nazis.” More: HuffPost