SCOTUS kills more women

Today’s Big Stuff. October 7, 2024.

It’s Monday. There are 29 days until Election Day. Leaping Leon pays people to support Trump, Vance says they’re coming for Planned Parenthood and Trump’s SCOTUS kills more women. 

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But at least it doesn’t drown kittens like Politico Playbook does. Those sick sonsofbitches. 

Note: Ok fine, so we don’t know for a fact that Politico Playbook drowns kittens. Or has sex with couches. Or has sex with Justas Dumbaspolitico (JD) Vance. But they’re still pretty goddamn awful so we would like to invite them to go have sex with themselves. Why do we hate them? Because of shit like this…

You’ve got to be fucking kidding. You’d think these dunces would be busy cleaning up their own house after Playbook’s lead author had to take leave for possibly blackmailing his journalist ex-fiance about her digital affair with RFJ Jr. Or maybe they could just get their heads out of their asses and realize that the same goddamn day they wrote this crap, Kamala Harris was sitting down with 60 Minutes while Trump was refusing to do the same. 

There is certainly no shortage of self-important beltway buttlicks who think Kamala Harris owes them something or that they get to decide how she campaigns. We say fuck that and fuck them. MVP is talking to the people, and that’s what matters. And Playbook sniffs glue while watching snuff films and having sex with dead farm animals. Or at least that’s what we heard. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: This week, Harris is doing a media blitz that includes the 60 Minutes interview, The View, a Univision town hall, Colbert, Howard Stern and this fascinating interview with the “Call Her Daddy” podcast. The whole thing is worth listening to, but our favorite part was when she took Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ punk ass to the woodshed.

Note three: Ugh. Republicans are about to have another natural disaster to lie about. Hurricane season is in full swing, and there is some scary shit out there. Hang in there, y’all! More: USA Today

Note four: Speaking of Republicans lying about hurricanes, it’s amazing how much time people are having to take away from actually helping to call out all the Trumpian bullshit. Wouldn’t it be nice if the GOP would just shut the fuck up and pitch in? More: Associated Press

Note five: Where are all those fake free speech warriors when you need them? What Ron DeSantis is doing in Florida to scare news organizations out of running ads in favor of the abortion amendment is straight up fascism and should be bigger news. More: Independent

Note six: The memes about Leaping Leon are fucking hilarious. What a dork. If you haven’t seen nazi doofus jump for Trump, then you’ll get a kick out of the jokes that followed. More: The Independent

Note seven: Marjorie Taylor Greene is getting dumber by the second. We’re like a week away from her pissing on an electric fence to own the libs. If she doesn’t shit herself to death first. She also doubled down on how the CIA controls the weather. Yikes. 

Note eight: We didn’t think it was possible but Republican Pennsylvania U.S. Senate candidate Dave McCormick might be a worse candidate than “Dr.” Oz. McCormick’s campaign is now banned from Max’s Steaks in Philly after lying to the restaurant and telling them they were having an autism awareness event when it was actually a campaign event for McCormick. Then he got thrown out of a church fundraiser. LOL. Keep up the good work, Dave. More: The Daily Beast

Note nine: It’s pretty scary that the Speaker of the House is still refusing to say who won the last election. It’s also pretty scary that little ass-kissing elf is the Speaker of the House. Let’s fire him, shall we? More: USA Today

Note 10: Props to Coach Tim Walz on defending women’s basic human rights on Fox News Sunday. It’s pretty wild that the scumbag shit-eating network that had to pay $787 million for lying wants to quibble with Walz over the difference between IVF and IUI. Walz will be on Kimmel Monday night. More: Independent

Note 11: This is what MVP was doing this weekend while Trump and Leaping Leon were kissing each other’s asses.

Note 12: Gwen Walz was in Nebraska this weekend, telling voters “we do not take too kindly in Nebraska to bullies like Trump telling us when, ir or how to start our families.” Darn right. More: Nebraska Examiner

Note 13: It only took forever but the New York Times finally realized that Trump is old and crazy and getting worse by the day. According to a report in the paper Sunday, Trump’s own staff are questioning his mental fitness, his rallies last almost twice as long as they used to and he’s speaking at a fourth grade level (DeSantis is 8th grade). Our favorite part of the study? Trump is using cuss words 69 percent more than he did in 2016. LOL. Nice. Now we just need the NYT to write about this every damn day for the rest of the election like they did Biden and we’ll call it even. Or not. More: New York Times

Note 14: Do you live in Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Ohio, Tennessee, Texas, Georgia, Arizona, Florida or Arkansas? If so, today is the last day to register to vote. Even if you think you’re already registered, please check your status. There’s some dirty sonsofbitches playing dirty games out there. 

Note 15: Andy Kim continues to be perhaps the best human being in politics. The man who cleaned up the Capitol after Jan. 6 also rushed to check on his debate opponent after the dude had a medical episode. More: Daily Mail

Note 16: If you’ve been with us for a while, then you know we don’t have anything smart to say about the Israel-Hamas War. What we can say is that a year ago, terrorists murdered, raped and kidnapped Jews, and that sure if fuck isn’t ok. There is certainly nothing to celebrate today. Let’s all hope for peace sooner than later. More: Huff Post

Note 17: Trump’s corrupt SCOTUS didn’t take up a case of Elon Leon wanting to be able to cover up how Trump used twitter to facilitate his attack on the U.S. Capitol. Suck it, Leon. More: NBC News

Note 18: There are so many reasons to vote against Trump. But he will also raise everyone’s taxes unless you’re rich as hell. More: Huff Post

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we take you to the NBA pre-season, where Coach Doc Rivers made clear he’s keeping up with politics…

Note 20: And on that hilarious note, let’s go do some news! We hope y’all had a great weekend. We know shit is getting intense down the homestretch, so please don’t forget to breathe and be good to yourself. And stay the hell away from those creeps at Politico Playbook. Love y’all! 

Lock up Leon!
When Elon Leon Musk wasn’t making a total fool out of himself with his complete lack of athleticism and self-respect, he and his mommy were breaking campaign finance law. On Saturday, Maye Musk tweeted out a call to cheat in the election by making up voters. On Sunday, Leon Elon offered to pay people to sign up folks for his Trump Super PAC. So yeah, lots of breaking the law by the world’s richest man. Anybody else eager to see Kamala Harris put the apartheid asshat in check? More: Washington Examiner

This is important
There’s so much chaos these days that it can be hard to miss the really important shit. Thank goodness you’ve got us. This weekend, Jackass Detestswomen (JD) Vance was asked by the right-wing assholes at RealClearPolitics if he and Trump would defund Planned Parenthood. He said yes because he doesn’t want to pay for abortions. Apparently he doesn't want to pay for mammograms, birth control or prenatal care either. This is a good reminder that Republicans like Vance do not give a shit if American women live or die. And if they when, a lot of women will die. More: Washington Post

More dead women
Trump’s corrupt Supreme Court isn’t done killing American women just yet. This morning the court refused to take up the Biden administration’s emergency request that would require Texas emergency rooms use abortions when necessary to save pregnant women’s lives. Texas is fine to let women die instead of giving them a medical procedure that could save their lives, and Trump’s SCOTUS says that’s just fine. This is extremely fucked up, but it is also a timely reminder that Trump and Vance are goddamn liars when it comes to abortion and they are going to get lots of women killed. More: Associated Press

Today’s clips
In 2021, Democrats attached an expensive pension bailout to the American Rescue Plan, the $1.9 trillion stimulus package they muscled through the Senate on a party-line vote at the height of the coronavirus pandemic. The inclusion of an estimated $74 to $91 billion to shore up troubled multiemployer pension funds was a small legislative miracle for the Teamsters and other unions – and it never would have happened without Harris. More: Huff Post

White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre has been promoted to senior adviser to the president, ABC News has learned. More: ABC News