Today’s Big Stuff 7.18.24 | JD Vance puts us all to sleep

It’s Thursday. There are 109 days until the general election. Convict night at the RNC, Vance puts us all to sleep and COVID SERIOUSLY ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING?!

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. How in the hell could anyone not right now? 

Note: Sexy Patriots! You’re looking fierce today. Way tougher than Jolly Doodoolick (JD) Vance. Yeah, in fact, lil’ Vance don’t look too tough at all. We know he served in the military so we were pretty shocked to learn he’s a total chickenshit. Yeah, yesterday VP Harris’s team offered up three different dates to debate, and JD said no thanks. Because he’s a chickenshit.

So we finally have a name for Jedediah Dildonoggin (JD) — Pee-Pants Vance. Of course Jedediah Dildonoggin will also work. But what is JD so afraid of? Well probably standing on stage with a woman while she tells the American people the truth about what Pee-Pants and his orange friend want to do to other women in this country. And he should be scared. Because he wants a national abortion ban because he can’t stop women from traveling to get abortions, and that’s a hard thing to defend in a free country. Right now the press is distrac…