Today’s Big Stuff 7.25.24 | Biden economy keeps rolling

It’s Thursday. There are 103 days until the general election. Orangey comes for our VP, the Biden economy keeps rolling and the president makes us weep like a Republican.

Be advised: This newsletter uses excessive profanity. It feels pretty damn good. 

Note: Goodness, what a whirlwind these last few weeks have been. We published a piece yesterday afternoon about just how much can change in a week. It doesn’t seem like we’ve been able to catch our breath, and we are surprisingly cool with that. (read our latest on Substack) But what we’re not cool with is missing an entire news cycle of something gross and immature and hilarious that is right up our alley. So, Sexy Patriots, please forgive us for just now talking about Jumprope Drippywiener (JD) Vance fucking a couch. 

WHAT?! We’re trying to decide between Mark Kelly and Andy Beshear and they’re trying to decide if their guy screwed the sofa?! If you read the fact-check, then it turns out that, no, Jiffy Dingleberry (JD) didn’t write in his bullshit memoir that he had “sex with ‘an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions.’” But damn if that doesn’t sound like something that guy looks like…