Trump is already going around the Constitution

Today’s Big Stuff. November 22, 2024. Veterans Day.

It’s Monday. There are 721 days until the midterm elections. Dark Brandon meets with Orange Asshead this week, Nikki Haley’s humiliation continues and Trump is already going around the Constitution.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. To be honest, it’s more profanity than newsletter at this point. 

Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, we’ll just be honest and as tactful as usual — a weekend of rest and reflection sure as hell didn’t make all this fucked up shit any less fucked up. If anything, the dark reality that lies ahead is starting to set in and it sucks. You know who else sucks? Gym Jordan. Yeah, that creepy asshole is back and on Sunday he was bullshitting his way through our favorite question right now…

WHAT?! First of all, Gym can eat shit and go to hell right after he kisses our asses. Second of all, WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT FUCKING VOTER FRAUD WE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT?! For four freaking years, we’ve had to listen to Trump and his most loyal assholes tell us the 2020 election was rigged and stolen. They even attacked the goddamn U.S. Capitol over it! And now? All that fraud seems to have just magically disappeared right up Trump’s ample orange ass along with America’s dignity and principles. Or maybe it was just a big fucking lie the whole fucking time. 

Maybe this exposure of one of Trump’s most obvious and insidious lies is the wake up call for Americans who haven’t seen through Trump’s horseshit just yet. We’re kidding. That’s never gonna happen. So it’s up to people like us to call it out. Because truth still matters to some of us, and we’re calling bullshit. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: It’s Veterans Day, or as Trump calls it, sucker and loser day. So don’t forget to thank a veteran for defending the freedoms this dumbass country just voted to give up. 

Note three: Trump announced that former ICE director Tom Homan will be his new border czar. Homan is the scumbag who went on 60 Minutes a few weeks ago and said he planned to deport whole families so he doesn’t have to separate them. More: NBC News

Note four: We need to apologize to the world. For lots of things. But mostly we need to apologize because Trump is gonna make Elise Stefanik our UN ambassador. It’s like he picked out a special turd for the global punchbowl. More: NBC News

Note five: This picture of Cheryl Hines is what Americans look like when they start to learn what they actually voted for… More: PatriotTakes

Note six: If you want to read a deeply unsettling story about how tech bros are the new oligarchs of the U.S., well, here ya go. More: The Guardian

Note seven: This weekend Trump said he talked to Putin and told him to not escalate in Ukraine. Today Putin said the call never happened. Oops. More: The Guardian

Note eight: And Putin congratulated Trump on his win by having state media run naked pictures of Melania. Yeah, Trump is about to find out that Putin ain’t his friend. More: Kyiv Post

Note nine: The folks who didn’t vote for Harris because they thought her and Biden didn’t do enough on climate change are about to have a rough few years. More: NPR

Note 10: Thank you to CNN’s Eva McKend for bringing some truth to what is already a very dumb and dishonest conversation about what went wrong… More: Threads

Note 11: LOL. Elon Leon is big mad at Dana Carvey’s impression of him on SNL. Our shadow president might have won an election, but he’s still a total fucking loser. More: Huff Post

Note 12: We have no idea what went wrong or how to fix it. But we do know that the Morning Joe crew and a Maureen Dowd column don’t either. Sigh. NO LINK ON PURPOSE

Note 13: Really scary shit as Rep. Jared Moskowitz reveals he learned about an assassination plot on his life. This crazy shit will probably stop now that the lunatic assholes got what they wanted, right? Mor: Threads

Note 14: Jack Smith is winding down his investigation, and Gym Jordan still wants to go after him. So this should be fun. Frankly it’s fine with us if Republicans want to keep Jan. 6 in the news for the next two years. Maybe then the American people will finally start to give a shit. More: NBC News

Note 15: We’re gonna wrap up early today since it’s a holiday, so for today’s Happy Ending, we give you former President Jimmy Carter. The man has been in hospice for a year, and he still got nominated for a Grammy… More: Carter Center

Brace yourselves
Shit is gonna get real this week as a certain orange asshead returns to the White House. President Biden invited Trump to come to the White House to talk about the transition and Trump accepted. They’re meeting on Wednesday. You might remember that Trump afforded Biden none of these kinds of courtesies because he was too busy plotting his coup and trying to overturn the will of the American people. More: NBC News

Ouch
At least we’re not all Nikki Haley. Haley, who has bent over backwards to be a Trump fan after running against him, has been publicly put on notice that she is out. Trump posted on social media this weekend that he will not be offering jobs to Haley or former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo. He made the announcement public so he could humiliate him. And Haley’s response was to thank him. We’re not even joking. More: Independent

Here we go
With Mitch McConnell officially going back in his shell and giving up his leadership post, Republican senators are already locked in a tough battle to see who will be their next majority leader. And so of course they’re doing everything they can to kiss Trump’s ass. And it’s still not enough. This weekend, Trump said the new majority leader must commit to allowing recess appointments. Basically this means Trump doesn’t want his cabinet secretaries to have to sit through Senate confirmation hearings even though Republicans have a 53-seat majority. So he’s telling whomever wants the leadership gig they better be prepared to make the U.S. Senate a Trump subsidiary. How long until he moves to dissolve the Senate? More: Politico

Today’s clips
The hypocrisy of Republican National Committee co-chair Lara Trump was laid bare on Sunday after she argued on Fox News that Democratic nominee Kamala Harris lost the 2024 election because of Democrats’ “constant mudslinging” at her father-in-law, President-elect Donald Trump. More: Huff Post

Pennsylvania's hotly contested Senate race hangs in the balance nearly a week after Election Day, with Republicans declaring victory and Democrats holding out hope that the remaining batch of outstanding ballots will allow them to close the gap. More: NBC News

President-elect Trump took aim at longtime foe California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) over his decision to call a special legislative session next month to “safeguard” the Golden State’s policies ahead of Trump’s return to the White House in January. More: KTLA