Trump terrorizes Ohio

Today’s Big Stuff. September 13, 2024.

Happy Friday! There are 53 days until the general election. Trump terrorizes Ohio, Kamala raises big crowds and big dough and dry-heaves over orangey’s new girlfriend. 

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. Like Trump does when he sees Kamala’s crowd sizes or looks down in the shower. 

Note: Sexy Patriots, we don’t want to oversell it, but you are in for a big damn treat today. After five years of cussing Donald Trump’s flatulating ample orange ass to hell and back, we finally decided it was time we go straight to the horse’s ass’s mouth and give him a chance to respond. So, SPs, we set out yesterday to interview Donald Trump. Crazy, right? Well it gets crazier.

First, we drove out to a farm. The farmer was confused by our presence, but he couldn’t have been any nicer. He took us to his chicken coop and pointed out which chickens had already eaten that day. We asked him which chicken was the most easily frightened, and he pointed out a mangy, ugly and clearly stupid chicken alone i…