Trumpcession

It’s Thursday. There are 614 days until the midterm elections. The brain worm guy starts messing things up, the president frees some sex traffickers and get ready for the orange recession.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. We’ll stop when our country stops being all shitholey.

Note: Sexy Patriots! How the heck are you today? Horrified, disgusted and hot as hell? We feel you. Our country has been taken over by assholes and idiots and that kinda thing tends to mess with you. There’s so much awful shit happening that it can be hard to know what to focus on. We often see people online telling us to focus on something Trump did and not get distracted by his latest outrage. That sounds nice, but we’re not sure how to do that.

Basically every damn day we tell ourselves that we’re gonna focus on only the really bad shit that affects Main Street Americans. So today we’re just gonna talk about Medicaid cuts and HOLY SHIT HE JUST HAD THEM INSTALL GIANT CONCRETE WEINERS ON MOUNT RUSHMORE!!! Oops. Ok focus. Trump is resegregating the federal government and starting a recession BUT WHEN DID HE EVEN HAVE TIME TO HAVE A BUNCH OF GIANT CONCRETE TALLYWHACKERS MADE?! AND WHY IS LINCOLN PACKING RUSH-LESS IF YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN?! HE DIDN’T EVEN MAKE THE REST OF THEIR BODIES! IT’S JUST GIANT HEADS AND PECKERS! WHAT KIND OF DEGENERATE MANIAC WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!

The good news is we are joking and there have not been any genitalia added to Mount Rushmore. Yet. The bad news is this is today’s horrible fucked up shit. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: John Roberts is doing more stupid cowardly John Roberts shit. This country could really use a Supreme Court. More: The Hill

Note three: You’re not gonna believe this but DOGE ain’t actually saving us any money. Ok so you will believe it. More: NBC

Note four: Trump issued his order banning trans people from the military last night. It’s cruel, it’s stupid and it’s pretty fucking rich coming from the bone spurs bitch. More: USA Today

Note five: Did y’all see any of the cabinet meeting yesterday? Yeah, so Elon Leon is definitely president. And not a very good one. Someone tell Fuck Rogers that Ebola is kind of a big deal.

Note six: LOL. Trump has managed to make Wayne Gretzky hated in Canada. That’s pretty hard to do! More: The Hill

Note seven: Oops. Trump was caught on a hot mic yesterday telling Fox to kiss his ass. And then they did. More: Mediaite

Note eight: Tesla ain’t doing so hot these days. Maybe people don’t like buying cars from weirdo nazi dickheads. More: BBC

Note nine: RIP to Gene Hackman. Hoosiers, Unforgiven, Royal Tenenbaums. So many great movies. But we are really stuck on the cops saying there was no foul lay when Hackman, his wife and their dog were all found dead. Did they all three have simultaneous heart attacks? More: AP

Note 10: This looks pretty fucking clear to us. Let’s hope someone shows it to Democratic leadership.

Note 11: Well look who’s about to get a new $2 billion contract with the FAA. Remember like a week ago when Trump said Elon Leon wouldn’t be getting any new contracts? More: AP

Note 12: While Trump and Leon are flooding the zone with horrible shit, there are a lot of people in court fighting back. HuffPo has a handy guide to who is suing. Godspeed. More: HuffPost

Note 13: It is astonishing what Trump and his South African friend are doing to military veterans in this country. Or it would be if we didn’t already know about that “suckers and losers” shit. More: TPM

Note 14: We’re gonna need a new John Deere hat after the company refused to back off its DEI policies. “In John Deere green, he wrote Billy Bob loves Charlene…” Extra points if you know who sang that. More: Raw Story

Note 15: If we were famous pop stars, we simply would not ride to space in Jeff Bezos’s weird penis rocket. Of even piss on Bezos if he was on fire.

Note 16: Need some good news? Raymond Santana, one of the Central Park Five who Trump wanted executed, is going to run for City Council in New York City. More: HuffPost

Note 17: Tim Walz says he’s not running for the Senate. It’s a bummer, but Democrats have a deep bench in Minnesota and we would totally understand if he’s had enough of national politics. More: Star Tribune

Note 18: We have always known that Tommy Tuberville is dumber than dog shit. But how in the effing fuck does a man become a United States Senator without knowing the word triangle? More: HuffPost

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’d like to share this post that is a beautiful reminder there are many, many different ways to resist fascism and there are heroes everywhere.

Note 20: And on that beautiful note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are hanging in there amid all the crazy. We would understand if you need a vacation. Stay away from Mount Rushmore though. Trust us. Love y’all!

Brain worm or bust

So the ex-heroin addict who cuts the heads off of whales is off to a fucked up start as HHS secretary. Yesterday, after a child died from measles, RFK Jr. said it was totally normal and “not unusual” to have a measles outbreak. That is of course false and stupid. It gets worse. The U.S. did not send representatives to learn about next year’s flu strain so it seems that the brain worm asshole is gonna make it harder for Americans to get protection. Sen. Bill Cassidy must feel like Sen. Susan Collins today.

More: NBC, Rolling Stone

Even for Trump

This is pretty fucked up. As we showed you in the opening note, Trump is freeing and importing some sex traffickers and rapists. Yes, that is exactly the opposite of his campaign promises. We learned this morning that the Romanian government has freed racist misogynist piece of shit Andrew Tate and his brother and they are on their way to the United States. These are the kind of human trafficking criminals that the QAnon idiots were supposed to be against. Instead they became allies.

More: NBC

Trumpcession

Economists are worried. We are too. It sure looks like all the chaos and mass firings are leading us to a pretty vicious recession that Trump will try to blame on Biden or a Black person. The U.S. economic policy index is at its highest level since 2000 (h/t Kevin Elliott), and the number of Americans applying for jobless benefits was just reported as 242,000, which is a three–month high (h/t Carl Quintanilla). Making matters worse — like he always does — Trump announced that he is going to go ahead and hit Canada and Mexico with 25 percent tariffs on March 4. We are watching an idiot and his idiot cult destroy a thriving American economy, yet the press will still pretend to be shocked and confused when it happens.

More: Telegraph, AP

Today’s clips

In a note to members Wednesday, the White House Correspondents’ Association president warned that the Trump administration’s new system for working with reporters has compromised the integrity of its dispatches. More: HuffPost

President Donald Trump has set his sights on abolishing the U.S. Education Department and has said he’d prefer to put education policy in the hands of the states. But that may not be so simple, with state officials and lawmakers saying they’re wildly unprepared for such a huge undertaking. More: NBC

The American coach of the Canadian men’s national soccer team blasted President Donald Trump on Wednesday amid icy geopolitical tensions between the northern neighbors. The fiery rhetoric comes just as the U.S., Canada, and Mexico prepare to co-host the World Cup in 2026, with Trump’s threat of tariffs on both nations looming. More: NBC