We’re not gonna miss Tina

Happy Friday! There are 32 days until Election Day. A strike disaster is averted, Biden demands help for Helene victims “now” and a kick-ass jobs report.

Be advised: This newsletters uses profanity. It’s not nearly as offensive as the shit that comes out of Trump’s mouth.

Note: We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, Sexy Patriots — Trumpland makes a person do weird shit. Ever since that awful sonofabitch came down that escalator from hell, we have found ourselves living the real life speech from the end of the original Ghostbusters (“Dogs and cats living together!”). We hate Kanye and love Liz Cheney. We’re rooting for the FBI even though we know their history. And yesterday we stood up and cheered and did the Arsenio Hall “woot woot” motion upon hearing that a 79-year-old widow had been sentenced to nine years in prison.

And she had it coming.

Dayum. Git her, judge. Yeah, Colorado clerk Tina Peters, the unrepentant scum who fucked with our elections and who Trump called a “rock star,” is going to the clink and we’re not talking weekend jail stuff. She’s going to prison. And it is very obvious from her delusions and sense of entitlement that she did not see this coming. Yeah, waiting for God and Trump to save your dumb ass is not the best legal strategy. Oh well. We’re not gonna miss Tina. But she is gonna miss the Olympics and a couple of big elections. Oh well. Buh-bye, Tina. Hope Trump was worth it. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: By the way, we’re serious about cheering on Liz Cheney. It’s so goddamn wild to say, but she was freaking fantastic in her appearance with VP Harris yesterday. It really got under Trump’s skin too. He attacked Cheney on Fox and then around midnight on Truth Social. Go Liz! This is all so weird!!!! More: Axios

Note three: Trump wanted to let California burn and withhold federal funds until two aides convinced him that Trump voters live there too. So yeah, Blue America is on its own if that asshead wins again. More: Salon

Note four: Holy crap! Y’all are serious about winning the U.S. Senate and we sure appreciate it. The reason we say that is because Ruben Gallego who is running for the seat vacated by someone named Krysten Sinema (already forgot who she was) raised almost $22 million last quarter. And he’s gonna need it because he’s running against… More: The Hill

Note five: ... the goddamn devil. Yeah, we knew Kari Lake was gutter slime, but her attack on Gallego’s estranged father is just evil. His response here is a must-watch.

Note six: Just Denyingreality (JD) Vance is now saying that Trump won the 2020 election (he sure as shit did not) and refusing to say if he’ll concede if he and Trump lose. Is it just us or does Jan. 6 come earlier and earlier every year? More: HuffPost

Note seven: Trump said yesterday that Democrats stole FEMA money to give to undocumented immigrants. We’re pretty sure that’s not true. Actually we know it’s not. CNN did a fact-check on Trump’s attacks on Biden/Harris for their Helene response. More: CNN

Note eight: Tennessee Republican Congressman Tim Burchett went full antisemite yesterday, and we’re sure the condemnations from his fellow Republicans will be coming any minute now. More: HuffPost

Note nine: We have to say we are super disappointed in the International Association of Fire Fighters. They have long backed Democratic candidates, and it’s hard not to make some really awful assumptions about what changed this time. Kamala Harris has been a damn good friend to labor. It’s a shame there are some in the movement who aren’t being good friends to her. More: HuffPost

Note 10: It’s a damn wonder that Rudy Giuliani doesn’t walk around at all times with at least one of his feet stuck in a bucket.

Note 11: Ok back to labor for a second, we were super happy to see the Arizona Teamsters jump on the Harris-Walz train. Let’s go! More: KTAR

Note 12: Variety reported yesterday that Taylor Swift added more than 1.8 million Spotify followers after endorsing Kamala Harris. Look, we think it’s great that she endorsed and got involved, but we’re pretty sure Tay Tay picks up 2 million new followers in her sleep. The good news is she sure didn’t have to worry about losing all her fans by pissing off the Trump trash. More: Variety

Note 13: This is one of those scandals that used to occupy a whole news cycle by itself. Now people don’t even know this shit is happening. New York Congressman Mike Lawler wore blackface in 2006 as part of a Michael Jackson Halloween costume. His defense? He said he is “a student of history.” What?! More: USA Today

Note 14: A federal judge has given the green light for Biden’s student debt forgiveness plan to move forward. Yeah, we’re shocked too. Who knows how long this will last, but we’re happy as pigs in shit for now. More: CNBC

Note 15: The Jewish Space Lasers dumbshit is at it again. Y’all, we can’t lose to people this goddamn stupid.

Note 16: President Obama is hitting the road to campaign for Kamala Harris in swing states. Trump can’t even get his last vice president to vote for him. More: CNN

Note 17: Jackass Dickhead (JD) Vance refused to commit to investing in Michigan auto plants. Seems like a really idiotic way to win Michigan. More: Detroit News

Note 18: Trump is going back to Butler, Pa. tomorrow to try and get more sympathy. Elon Leon Musk said he’ll be there too. Anybody else sick of these dudes whining about this shit? People shot at the Obama White House and they don’t talk about it all the time. More: Politico

Note 19: Trump can have Elon Leon. We’ve got the Boss. Thank you to Bruce Springsteen for being awesome and endorsing Harris-Walz. More: Rolling Stone

Note 20: And on that rising note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all had a great week. We’ll see you tomorrow for our weekend edition. In the meantime, let’s do what we can to save democracy and not go to prison for nine years like a total fucking moron. Love y’all!

Phew

Big news yesterday as the longshoremen’s union decided to put their strike on hold until Jan. 15 in order to give negotiators time to work. We were trying not to stress this, but it wasn’t good that these folks were gonna seriously gum up the supply chain. Hell, we were already hearing from friends that people were stocking up on toilet paper, and there were serious questions about the union leadership’s relationship with Trump. So this is good news and one more problem solved under the leadership of Joey “Dark Brandon” Biden.

More: CNN

Where are the stories?

MAGA Mike Johnson is saying that Congress doesn’t need to return to pass an emergency aid supplemental because it can wait. President Joe Biden, who has been on the ground talking to Helene victims, said they need the funds “now.” So here’s a question — why the fuck isn’t the press talking about how a Republican Congress is out campaigning instead of helping with the federal response to a natural disaster? Biden and Harris have been out there, and we know they would have been eaten alive if they hadn’t been. So why is Congress getting a pass?

More: The Independent

Let’s go!!!

The Biden-Harris economy is rocking and rolling and the Republican Party is furious about it. We got the September jobs report this morning, and it’s so hot it’ll burn your fingers. Last month, the Biden-Harris economy added 254,000 jobs, well above expectations, and the unemployment rate ticked down to 4.1 percent. Also, the July and August numbers were revised upward. When Biden and Harris took office, the economy was in shambles because of a once-in-a-century pandemic. They rebuilt with a focus on the middle class. And now our economy is once again the envy of the world. And Trump’s GOP fought us every goddamn step of the way.

More: CNBC

Today’s clips

Donald Trump on Thursday addressed wife Melania Trump’s apparent pro-choice stance on abortion by claiming that he’d told her, “I’m not going to tell you what to do.” More: HuffPost

A Nevada Republican politician who ran unsuccessfully two years ago for state treasurer was found guilty Thursday of using funds raised for a statue honoring a slain police officer for personal costs, including plastic surgery. More: ABC

The chief operating officer of Truth Social's parent company has resigned and the company must hand over almost 800,000 shares to one of its investors as part of a court ruling, according to a regulatory filing. More: ABC